| Just like the movies....Not. |
[Jun. 27th, 2008|05:13 pm] |
I've noticed among my female friends a sense of general discontent. Not recently, but perpetually. No man they meet nor relationship they are involved in seems to measure up to expectations, and I don't think it has to do with us women being too narcissistic or picky or innately idealistic. Call it a cheap shot if you want, but I blame the media.
Ah, the media. Ever a scapegoat for garnering fear, tainting reality, and even rotting our brains by pinning our focus on banality. Tila Tequila, you little harlot...you're enriching our culture with your own brand of bisexual freedom. Rock on, sister.
I digress. Since little girls are old enough to process images in their fastly-forming brains, we are overloaded with visions of happy endings (not the post-massage variety, you pervies), the notion that our lives only truly begin when we happen upon our flawless Prince Charming. Disney formulated my perception of men long before I even knew the difference between boys and girls. Ariel forfeits the life she knew to become something she is not, a human to fit the mold of what Prince Eric deems "marriage-worthy." Jasmine sacrifices a cushy life at the palace to be with her little street-rat, Aladdin. If the heroines of Disney aren't giving everything up for the men they desire, they're being weak and demure, in need of rescuing.
I'm not going to get into the gender stereotypes associated with Disney culture. I could write a 30-page thesis on the topic (hey, maybe I should).
But, pertaining to "love," the message of how it's supposed to be starts very early on in a young girl's development; and the message is loud and clear: a girl's most important mission in life is to find love and to do whatever possible to keep him - even if it requires giving up her sense of self.
Of course, it doesn't end in childhood. It's impossible to turn away from media-depicted exaggerations of love. (Though, in recent times, representations of true love have been replaced with steamy sessions of immeasurable lust.) It's on television, in movies that aren't even supposed to be romantic (Mr. and Mrs. Smith?). And if you're a fan of black and white Golden-Age Hollywood cinema like I am? Forget it, you're a goner.
So what am I talking about? What kind of love is being depicted?
The kind that we all dream of (yes, even the cynics, deep down). Movie love. Tingly, heel kicking, screaming from the rooftops love. Earth-shattering, I-will-do-anything-for-you, I-live-and-breathe-to-make-you-happy, I-don't-even-want-to-look-at-another-woman-again, we met in another country/across a crowded room/at your ex's birthday party/at that Hollywood premiere/at the airport/online/at your best friend's wedding LOVE. The kind of love that fits, that never dies, that makes all the misery and strife that came before it seem non-existent. The kind of love that defies distance, boundaries, conventions, practicality and obstacle. Love where you don't give up no matter the odds. Love that makes your heart scream with joy, that ignites the world, that makes everything vibrate with luminous energy.
The truth is, it doesn't exist. At least not how it's been shown. Life gets in the way, people fuck you over, ones that seemed to love you change their minds, temptation lies around the corner - in America, where you can get anything better, prettier, dirtier and faster, curiosity overcomes, people die in freak accidents and their widow never loves again, some people die all alone, and others are never understood by anyone they meet because they are labeled "eccentric" or too passionate or not apathetic enough to fit in with the masses. The romantic in us is slaughtered, strung limb from limb for a momentary venture intoan idealism that was concocted by the big, greedy machine called Hollywood. Because someone once took your breath away, you are now awakened. It might exist, but it doesn't last.
Reality: People lie, your own heart deceives you, love withers, and then we watch another romantic movie, hear another love song, read another romance novel, and either wonder where it all went wrong, OR let our blind faith become rejuvenated.
Maybe we need all those false notions, caricatures of love. Hope is a necessity in life. I just think this brand of Hope only lets us down and fills us with impossible expectations. No one could live up to the polished version. The solution is to accept the feelings you have for another as something you've created, this is unique to you and your experiences. It's when you start to compare it to fictitious representations that you've lost touch with your potential for happiness.
I don't think guys are *as* affected because it's "unmanly" to watch romantic movies. Gender politics.
It would make me feel a little bit nauseous if I had to be all lovey-dovey and self-sacrificing all the time to keep some guy around anyway.
Love does NOT conquer all, and big romantic gestures are too much effort for some and are considered creepy by others.
Go watch some zombie movies and you'll be de-romanticized in no time, promise. No wait...even those sometimes have people falling for each other. *sigh* |
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=92.1){kind=small}
ladyepithumia's journal